Welcome to SpanThatWorld.com! The online home of the District Fellows Movement, the 16-20 age group of the cooperative children and young people's charity The Woodcraft Folk.
Following the hugely successful workshop at DF Camp we thought we would share with you how we did it so you can repeat this workshop or something similar at a group night or event near you.
The porn industry is constantly feeding people the idea that there is some sort of ideal shape and/or size that your private parts should be. This just isn’t accurate. Nobody’s genitals are the same as anybody else’s’ and there is no ideal way that they should be.
Sex education in school, for those of us who are lucky enough to be at schools which provide it, focuses on the practicalities of sex and it’s dangers. very little education is given about the functions of our bodies or even about what all the different parts are for.
This workshop encourages people to make accurate representations of what their genitals look like. This helps people to understand what all the different parts are, and what they are for. The reason we used cake decoration as the medium for the workshop is that it’s pretty silly. Talking about our genitals can be an uncomfortable subject for many people, doing it through such a ridiculous medium can help people to relax and be more open to discussing their bodies and learning about them. Since none of us are master bakers each cupcake we make will come out a bit differently and so reflect the strange shapes we come in.
For this workshop myself and Anna Robson made a selection of cupcakes using a basic cupcake recipe. Any flavour will do as long as there aren’t too many lumps, the smoother and flatter the surface the cake the easier it is to ice. We went for chocolate, banana and vanilla, this also gave us a nice range of skin tones.
How to make the Icing
The next thing we made was a selection of skin toned balls of icing. The icing we made by melting marshmallows in the microwave and mixing the hot gooey mixture with icing sugar until it could be rolled up into a playdohey sort of consistency. Be careful not to add too much icing sugar or it becomes hard to mould into shape. The reason we went for marshmallow fondant instead of another kins is that, 1, it’s easier to make, and, 2, it becomes easier to use when it gets hot, instead of going off.
To get the skin tone colours we used red, yellow and blue food dye, along with chocolate powder for some of the darker shades. The plain icing is a very pale pink, because of the pink marshmallow, so you don’t need extra white colouring. To get a peachy tone you need to mix yellow and red and then the tiniest touch of blue. The blue will make it less garishly orange. Use varying amounts of red and yellow to get a nice range of tones. For darker colours, chocolate powder is a great way to get just the right shade. If you use a lot of chocolate powder, use a bit less icing sugar, so it doesn’t get too stiff.
We also went to she shops to buy various decorations. Chocolate and rainbow sprinkles made excellent pubes. Edible ball bearings are great for piercings and vagazzles and mini-mini marshmallows make a fabulous clitoris. Use your imaginations. We also prepared a watery, plain white icing to use as glue and as various bodily fluids. A watery red icing might also work as realistic blood for some of the vaginas.
How to make Vaginas from that icing
To make the cakes we roughly followed this video example for the vaginas. Start with a small piece to go underneath the labia and become the vagina, then fold the edges of two semi circles to make the outer labia, labia majora. The next step is to make a clitoris, but you can skip this step if you like since some people’s clitorises are very small are can’t be seen unless they’re aroused. To make a clittoris simple roll up a tiny ball of icing, or select a tiny marshmallow and wrap it in a tiny semicircle, the clitoral hood, this is what protects it when you’re not aroused. Place the clitoris inside the top of the outer labia. For the inner labia, labia minora, although they can often be larger, cut two semi circles with edges as frilly and asymmetrical as you fancy. when you’re satisified with how realistic they are, slot them between the outer labia and use some icing to stick them down. The last thing to to is to get a small tool and make a tiny hole for where your wee comes out and a larger hole for where things can go in and out, then decorate. Using some of the watery white icing can make the cupcake look moist and very realistic.
How to make Penises out of the icing
Penis cupcakes are a bit less fiddly. Simply make a small sausage and wrap it in a rolled out piece of icing to make the foreskin. If you want it to look aroused or circumcised you can cut out a semi-circle and wrap it around the end. To make testicles you can roll up the appropriate number of icing balls and place them under your icing penis on the cupcake. Then you can go crazy with decoration until it looks as realistic or as rainbor coloured as you like.
For all varieties of genitals, using a few different colours in the construction can make them look more true to life.
After all that is done you can eat them, yum yum yum.
Some Helpful Links
To help us make our cupcakes look as realistic as possible we used these websites as references. Don’t worry, these are ok to click on, there are no photographs of actual genitals.
Good luck and happy baking,