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ELECTION UPDATE
Zombies tuning into last night’s thrilling election debate will have been left full of hope and glee after Gordon Brown (A beautiful vision of undead angst and scowling fury) and David Cameron (A zombiefied Tony Blair, surely?) set their stance out firmly in favour of replacing Britain’s nuclear weapons after the election. Nick Clegg, stuttering over such humanist follies as ‘helping out troops in Afghanistan’, ‘rebuilding the economy’ and ‘spending money on public services’ will definitely not be getting a Zombie vote, though even the Lib Dems are keen to build something nuclear after May 6th, should they take power. Now is the time for Zombies across the country to start asking the real questions about Trident – Why stop at £100 billion? Why not nuke Iran now, get things started? Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we we’re all just hapless post-apocalyptic zombies, stuck with nothing but ’2010 election debates’ on our digi-boxes?
Gordon – if you want to really ensure that you go down in history as something other than a grumpy old bruiser with a face like a knee soaked in vinegar, remember, it’s only one big red button away!
But enough dreaming, we need to start filling in the gaps left by the USA and Russia, both of whom have been namby-pambying their way towards reduction deals regarding nuclear weapons. Thankfully, the cold war chill is still shivering our glorious politicians to the core, meaning that even the Lib Dems and Labour, who seem constantly keen to out due eachother’s promises for ‘tougher cuts’ are clearly going to make sure we are still the main players in a global game of ridiculous nuclear risk.
Why not send some encouraging emails to your local prospective Mps?
Our sworn enemies – CND – have got a brilliant little email gadget that you could use against them. http://www.cnduk.org/election/
Something like this might work:
Dear prospective parliamentary candidate,
I’m writing to you to ascertain your position in regards to nuclear weapons.
In this modern age, with risks lurking at every corner (but mainly that corner near Iran and North Korea!) it is surely vital that we increase out nuclear capacity as much as possible.
This would mean even more severe savings in such outdated places as ‘The Public Sector’, less nurses and less teachers, along with less money for the conventional armed forces. But these are cuts that we, as a nation, must be prepared to make.
How would you fight against President Obama of the USA, and his ideas of nuclear disarmament?
How would you make sure that my rights are not ignored?
Nuclear proliferation means making ourselves a target, more chance of nuclear attack, nuclear terrorism and hopefully, one day, total planetary annihilation at the hands of nuclear weapons. It takes a true politician to see the value of this.
My vote demands that should you take office, you will help ensure that a nuclear apocalypse does not get sidelined in favour of ridiculous ‘humanistic’ desires.
All the best,
A. Zomby
Keep up the fight gang!
It’s not often that an issue so close to Zombie hearts (if you’ve still got one…) is at the core of an election.
Whatever happens, we must ensure that our country remains a key player in the revered club of nations that help make nuclear apocalypse a real and wonderful prospect.
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Welcome to the epicentre of a growing, passionate movement for Zombie rights. Here you will find everything you need in order to get organised, get together and get protesting for a swift and deadly nuclear apocalypse.
Be like these Zombie Activists- take to the streets and tell the world about our plight in the face of disarmament.
